Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Hi my name is Kayla and I am....

A Teen Mom....

I can't say I was a teen mom because I had a child as a teenager and even though I am not a teenager anymore I will always be a teen mom. It's not something that just goes away.

Being a teen mom was a very difficult moment in my life.

I still remember thinking about how I was going to tell my parents. I wanted to just hide it for as long as possible but I knew it was best to tell them sooner rather than later. Not only my parents but what about my Grandparents. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins.... My FRIENDS! You see all these movies about girls getting pregnant while still in high school and her friends end up turning against her.. I was terrified.

I walked into my moms room one night with Adam(my husband now but boyfriend at the time) and told her I was pregnant. I don't think I said a word, I couldn't get a word out. We just showed her all 10 test I took. Then she left. I knew she was extremely disappointed in me because being a teen mom was not what my parents wanted for me. My mom knew first hand how hard it'd be for me. THEN I had to tell my dad. I would have rather cut off my right arm instead of tell my dad I was pregnant.

Being pregnant in high school was difficult. Adam had already graduated and he had a full time job. I went to school during the day and worked after school. My best friends stuck by my side through out the pregnancy and were there for me through it all. Even though Adam and I had our ups and downs he was also by my side for the pregnancy and birth. I got the looks, the questions, the statistics, and all the advice. BUT I had all the support I needed.

My biggest thing with becoming pregnant as a teen was I did NOT want to get married. I knew having a child as a teen would be hard, I did not want to throw marriage in their too. Thankfully our parents didn't force us to get married either. People still ask me to this day why we didn't get married right away? My only answer is because we didn't want to and I am very happy with our decision. I told Adam to not propose to me while I was pregnant because I'd say no. And thankfully he waited :) Adam and I ended up splitting up a few months after our son was born and that was EXTREMELY hard on me. But I was so glad we weren't married and didn't have to deal with a divorce. Over time we ended up working things out and getting back together but I think we needed time apart to realize that we really wanted to be together.

Being a teen mom does not make someone a bad person, it isn't a mistake, or something to regret. No I didn't want to be a teen mom that is not something I planned for my life but my son is the best blessing I could have ever asked for. He did come a little earlier than planned but life doesn't always go your way.. I didn't do drugs, get arrested, drink and drive, or something like that. I got pregnant.
I was so thankful for my best friends for being there for me through everything. My parents for EVERYTHING they did for me and my family. And Adam for being an amazing father to our children.

When I became pregnant I told myself I was going to be the best mother I could be. I was not perfect. I'm still not perfect but my kids are my world. I raise my children. I still remember being a teenager with a baby and friends would invite me to parties but I just couldn't. It's not that my parents wouldn't let me, I just didn't want to ask. Every once in awhile I'd go out but it wasn't an every weekend thing. I was not letting my parents raise my child on the weekends while I went out and got drunk every weekend.

Looking back now here are some things I have learned:

Don't be too hard on yourself.. You are not perfect and neither are moms in their 20's, 30's, or 40's.

Your life is not over. You are now just on a different course.

You will lose friends and you will make friends. My biggest tip when it comes to friends is make the right friends. Don't try to make friends with people who are going to ask you to party every weekend, sleeping around, or making bad decisions. Become friends with people who are going to respect that you're a parent.

Don't be afraid to ask for help... Do NOT be afraid to ask for help.

Be the parent you NEED to be. You are the one who got pregnant, not your mom, dad, grandma, or baby daddy's (btw I hate that word) parents. You need to step up and take care of your responsibility. Being a mom is not Monday-Friday 8am-6pm job. You can't just dump your child on someone for the weekends and expect to pick back up with parenting on Monday. I'm not saying NEVER go out. I had nights where I went out with friends. Sometimes I'd go for a weekend trip. But it wasn't an every weekend thing or even once a month. The thing is I didn't miss anything whenever I was at home spending time with my son. BUT whenever I went out... I missed being with my son. So go out... Have a good time but make sure when you look back on things you don't regret the decisions you made with your child. Just because your child is a baby doesn't mean he/she doesn't understand. Babies understand a lot more than you realize...

In a couple months we will have a 7 year old and a 5 year old. We now live 1600 miles away from family. My husband is in the military, Brett is in 1st grade, and Brynna will be in kindergarten soon. We have lived in another country and 3 different states. We paid off a car and bought a new one. I am currently enrolled in school online and my husband is a Sergeant in the Army.. We have come a LONG way from the "teen parents" we use to be.


  1. It sounds like you did an awesome job with being a teen mom!

  2. You got it all together,girl!! You and your family are very blessed!!!

  3. Girl you and Adam sound just like me and Kyle! I was so scared to tell my mom, Kyle's mom had known all along! I too did not believe in our parents raising our baby boy.

  4. What a strong mama you are!! Having your children young might not be the perfect situation but it sounds like you turned it into a really great life.

  5. How you got there doesn't matter. Being a good mom is what matters. Good for you.

    slehan at juno dot com