Oxygen....

Most little girls always dream about their future. I still remember laying in my bed talking to my best friends about how many kids I wanted to have, what their names were going to be, who I was going to marry, what I wanted to be whenever I grew up, and so much more. I had it all planned out. I wanted to be a doctor (I later changed my mind to nurse and honestly I’m still not sure if I want to be a nurse). After I got my career I wanted to get married and have a big family, 3 or 4 children. I always said 4 because I hate odd numbers haha. But for now the 2 I have make me feel like I have 4(plus my husband who at times makes me feel like I have 2 more kids haha). At that age you never think about the changing poopie diapers 5+ times a day, paying for daycare, teaching a toddler how to pee on the potty, budgeting, bills, and so much more.

Things don’t always go according to plan though. My junior year I found out I was pregnant. And my world turned upside down. I was terrified. I was still a child, and I was bringing a child into this world. My life as I knew it was over. BUT it was not the end of the world. I had a choice to make either have the child and grow up, or become another statistic.. I AM a teen mom (I can’t say was because once you are a teen mom you are always a teen mom). I had 2 children by the time I was 20. They are MY WORLD! They are everything to me. But sometimes I wonder am I a good mom? Will my children grow up and look back and say they had a great child hood? Great parents? I know I can look back and say I had an amazing childhood and I want my children to be able to say the same.

The other night as Adam and I were watching Moms' Night Out. It really was a great movie. I expected it to be more of a comical movie and it was very funny but it is also an eye opener. Within minutes I could relate to the main character. She was a stay at home mom with a working husband who is gone a lot. She didn’t have much alone time and getting dressed up and going out is a RARE occasion. She kind of lost herself while being a mother. Most moms can relate to that, you always put your children and your family first. During the movie the husband, who travels by plane a lot makes a comment to his wife about how, "You must put your oxygen mask on first, in order to be of any help to anyone else.” You really have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. You have to be happy for your family and children to be happy. “You need your oxygen.”

 

This past weekend news got out that a house burned down here at Fort Drum. It was a family of 5 with 2 dogs and they had just recently moved here. EVERYONE was quick to help, donating food for the animals, clothes, supplies, and so much more. It’s amazing how the military really is one big family. Even if you don’t know someone they are more than likely going through something you have already gone through or will go through. Well, a few days later news got out that the mother was arrested for starting the fire that burned down her house. Those same people that were originally wanting to help the mother were judging her. I won’t lie I was one of those people, but then you start to think about it. She is a mother to 3 small children, married to the army, just recently moved, and probably has NO ONE. The military has help. But from my experience they are quick to say no. Adam and I are STILL dealing with a very stressful, unorganized, crazy pcs. And if it wasn’t for my mom and grandma we would probably be living in our car right now. All I can think about is maybe they dealt with the same thing. She needed help and she probably had no one to turn to. Being a military wife is extremely hard at time. Being a mom is also extremely hard at times. Being married can also be hard. Now put all those things together and maybe one bad thing after another and you just hit a breaking point. In this

My very best friend in this crazy military
life. I miss her so much! One day we will be
together again :)

type of life you need a friend. At least one true friend…. Besides your husband. Yes your husband is a great person to talk to but you also need a person to keep you sane. Whether it be having a drink with her, getting your nails done, going out to eat, or maybe just keeping your kids while you run an errand. You may have amazing friends back home or at your previous duty station but you can’t let that hold you back whenever you move somewhere else. You don’t have to lose your previous friends you just have to make more friends. This woman burned down her house. I highly doubt she wanted to do it. I honestly think it was a complete accident. I don’t think she ever had the intention of burning down her children’s home but it happened. And now for the rest of her life she will have to live with it.

Another quotes from Moms' Night Out.
“Ya’ll spend so much time beating yourselves up.  I doubt the good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the mom he did.” –Bones